A day in my head

Being in my own head is probably where I spent most of my time. It’s a blissful place. Getting caught up in my own little stories, having imaginary conversations, drifting away.

I guess I’ve always been what you call a day dreamer, an introvert. Content with my own company. A little bit awkward in unfamiliar situations and with people I don’t know. Always happy to leave the party early.

I like being on my own. I need it. Being in the company of others, leaving the house and socialising can drain my energy. It takes effort for me to be with other people, not all of the time but a lot of the time.

While it can be comforting to detach, to switch off from myself and the outside world, I always struggle to stave off procrastination. Getting out of my head to get shit done can be tough at times.

Go for a walk, talk to people, meditate, eat healthy. Have a routine so the things I want to do get done. But what is it that I really want? Laden with tiredness in the quicksand.

Do I need a rest or am I just avoiding things? Hard to tell sometimes. Distraction is a double edged sword. It can fuel creativity while at the same time paralyse productivity.

A happy balance. Happy? Balance? Hard to know what that is. Seemingly impossible to achieve it. I guess I just muddle through, embrace the messiness, the imperfection, the struggle.

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  1. I also am a demon for procrastination. I aim for one productive thing every day at least. That way no matter what I can go to bed thinking, “Okay, I procrastinated AGAIN but I did do ____ and that counts for something!”

    1. Fraeuleindoktor Author

      Exactly. Every little counts! And sometimes you just have to cut yourself some slack, draw a line under an unproductive day and move on.

  2. It’s like I just read the perfect description to how I feel sometimes. I like to think I have a grip on things but I start the week brilliantly with Monday & Tuesday under my belt and come Friday my room is a mess, there’s no food in my cupboards, I’m tired or maybe just avoiding things, procrastinating but wanting to be productive and reliving the successes of the earlier days in the week where I actually managed to finish 97% of my to-do list and wanting to have that again but not feeling motivated by it, just down and disappointed. But the at the same time I’m content? A false contentment? Like what even?

    Hahahah yes to everything in this post! xxx

    Ama / Albatroz & Co.

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